When news broke two weeks ago that Adele is pregnant, the cheap and easy joke was, “Wait, you mean she wasn’t this whole time?” which lazy dicks such as myself immediately jumped at.
Except it turns out that part of being a lazy dick involves INCREDIBLE
PSYCHIC POWERS because Adele is already seven months pregnant, making
her two months pregnant the last time she appeared on the site. The singer – who announced she was expecting her first
child earlier this month – is rumoured to be seven months gone and has
kept it a secret by hiding her bump under baggy clothing, as she did at
the Ivor Novello awards.
A source spilled all to Heat magazine, telling them: “Adele has barely
left the house in recent months, so she could keep this to herself as
long as possible.”
Now, if you think is suddenly going to make me kick any and all forms
of restraint in the dick and start accusing even more celebrities with
the slightest of guts of being pregnant, you’re goddamn right it is
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